the SIGN

"I need imagination in order to continue breathing.." I just can't believe i told my sis KIDDO that..HaHa..she is my NEW best friend now...well, still under probationary period. Notice of termination : 2 weeks.. muahahahahaha~

My days are numbered.... Or so to say.. There's juz a few more days left before I flapped my wings and leave my comfortable crib~..I mean "nest"... one by one, lilttle birdies leave the nest and there she sat..all alone...* sigh * I'm starting to miss all that are here already..

What the......?

Should I really pack my stuff and JUST LEAVE or should I keep my options opened? When I frantically "prayed" for it and finally got my "prayers" answered, though not a very promising one, a call today made me wanna reconsider the decisions I've made weeks ago.. Was it a good one or a bad one? Did I really think real hard before I commit? Am I ready for all these? There were simply too many WHAT IF's at this moment.. I wanted to have something to look forward to each morning when I opened my eyes.. What I need to do and what need to done..

Or simply..that I don't even know what I want anymore in MY life?

A sense of belonging (which I doubt)

Well, not actually in my case.. cuz I am NOT occupying the room ALONE..so it's MORE like renting a "space"..I'm renting a "space" for me to chuck my stuff while I'm there..It's happening already..I mean, I'm still here..typing..but already I felt like drowning or somewhat suffocating already... *gAsP* *gaSp* *GaSp* HOW AM I GONNA GO THRU THIS PHASE?!?!?!

I CANNOT live in small "slow cooker" (it's damn hot like HELL there!!) And I just can't get used to the idea of people looking over MY shoulder, wondering what you're up to or checking to see what you're doing and stuff EVERY single seconds of it~ IT WILL JUST DRIVE ME UP THE WALL!!~ And eventually, I WILL snap.. And that would be an ugly sight *shrudder*

Can you imagine yourself, placed in a very very small room, occupying only one third of the availble space left with no "Space for My Stuff", let alone some quiet "Time for Myself".. Is there any survival kits available in 7-11 or self-helped books I can get from MPH??!?!?~ Am I being paranoid for nothing?

I need a SIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~