of Man and Wife

It was just another normal weekend doing practically nothing – lazing around, cleaning up and washing up.. updating the unorganized blog drafts on my holiday trip to KK, of people and life.. till the phone rang. An unfamiliar number. But at the end of the other line was a very familiar voice, though.


He’s getting married. And I am invited.


I have heard of the news during one of my chat with my gal friend earlier on but it was a whole different feeling when I heard it from the groom himself. It had been 6 years after we decided - well, it was rather I was the one who decided that we remained as friends.


But still, it felt weird. Odd. Akward.


The feeling was so peculiar, like as if my whole world just collapsed. Like as if I have just been dumped!! I hate myself right now – feeling so down, getting upset over nothing and all..

Rays Worshiper

Been dying to go to the beach and get my ass toasted ever since my unaccomplished mission during the Bali trip~

HOW ON EARTH CAN ONE GO TO BALI AND NOT SPEND A SINGLE SECOND ON THE FAMOUS KUTA BEACH!?!?!

And, worst of all – I’m like staying at Hard Rock Hotel, where you can actually smell Kuta Beach EVERY FRIGGIN MINUTE the moment you step out from your Room!!~ It’s just right infront of my Hotel and I didn’t managed to feel the sand between my toes!!~ ARGHH!! I’m still pretty pissed at myself to even let that happen!! So now, I am even more determined to stalk the Beach and Conquer the Rays more than ever!! Muahahaha~

Didn’t manage to find time to visit the Beach during the last few trips back here. Social Life schedules were so damn packed with VERY PREDICTABLE AND ALMOST ROUTINE LIKE activities – Dim Sum Sessions, Birthday Treats/ Family Functions, Bitching Sessions, Latest Gossips, (Entertaining Guests/ Freinds – hmmm….) and of course – CLUBBING Sessions (the Highlight for the whole trip).. Pretty exhausting but every moment spent with the people close to my heart - priceless ..

guardian angels sent from heaven~

So bored with nothing to do, I kinda got self-obssessed and started snapping pixxies of myself while Liz was trying her best to be on "sober" mode.

That was the worst clubbing session I have ever experience. Music sux. Crowd sux. Reached there at 12 a.m and left that friggin' place at 1.30 a.m !!

Normally, no matter how BAD us it turned out to be, after a few Bottoms-up session, we'll definitely enjoying ourselves silly till they have to kick shoo us out !!

Well, since the not so happening incident happened on Friday, I still have good old Saturday night to make up for the loss!!

wahahaha~

The session at Bar Savanh... well, was a better memory.. the Mood radar was rather Gloomy and the crowd there prefered to stand really still and enjoyed chatting on top of their tiny lungs!!~

However, after several booze sipping with a mixture of disappointment of being stood up, non-stop laughters for God knows what reasons, picture snapping sessions, clingy sessions, tipsy, puking and worst of all - the session where I really have minimal idea of what happened!!~

Thank God I was in the company of VERY GOOD PEOPLE!!~

...wingless angels send to earth...?

..of Sea, Sand, Sun and Tequila Shots!!~

It’s Saturday. And the urge to get this ass on the bus for a boring and lonely 4 ½ hours ride is constantly playing across my mind, again and again.. I am missing HOME more and more.. HOMESICK!!~ I missed Kiddo, the Clubbing routines, the Seaside, the Food, the Relaxing life of sitting around and doing anything that pleases me… Celebrated Dad's birthday early cuz it's impossible for me to come back on the actual day since his birthday is on a weekday.

*sob*sob*sob*sob*sob*sob*sob*sob*sob*sob*sob*

But since my presence there will only cause conflicts and uneasiness to SOME
[yes, I HAVE BEEN DIAGONISED WITH ATTITUDE SYNDROME now] – I think it’s time this chick better to learn to flap it’s wings and look for another nest where they put out the Red carpet for you – check in to a Hotel perhaps? But NO MOTEL, please!!~Haha~

But then, is there even a point to go back there, then?

Ervie called and we chatted. Catching up on the ups and downs of life. He told me that he will be limping for the rest of his little life and was actually very upset about it. And yes, the scars will accompany his limping-macho walks too. I felt so helpless because no amount of words can really change anything. So, I just listened as he went on and on. Poor dude.

Kiddo seemed happy with the new job.. and I am happy that she is happy now – after streaks of not-so-good incidents lately. . I hoped that her arm will recover soon so that we can have some Mud-Wrestling event soon - haha~

Dee is all up for a Holidaying session and we were like clueless on where to go with both having toght schedules and not to mention, tight budgets~ we checked out a few places but couln't find the right time - it's either Dee is busy or I will be having other plans~ bummer..

Finally, me and Liz managed to find time to go Clubbing together for the fisrt time - and warned me of Lizzie's-No-Nonesense-Rule No. One : Thou shall not ditch one another or goes MIA regradless who we managed to hook up with [even if it's Pitt, the Dude gotta find himself his own ride to his own home!!] Well, same rule applies with me, too. So, no worries? But I am still keeping my fingers crossed and armed myself with a RM100 taxi fare, just in case someone breaks the shitty Rule.... "Once bitten, twice shy.."

....enough said...

...a thin line between Life and Death...

A normal forwarded emailed bugged me the whole day… and the first image that came to my mind the moment I finished reading it was…. my Kiddo…

And the incident which happened recently haunt me again and again and again...

9 June 2006, 6.45 a.m

What an annoying sound!!

HE mumbled. Reluctantly, HIS hand was moving frantically towards the sound, searching for the gadget, and to put an end to the unbearable sound. But it was not the morning call music that HE was ONCE so familiar with.

It was an incoming call.

The screen on the tiny gadget showed a familiar name. SOMEONE whom HE hasn’t spoken to since the last immature message HE had sent to her.

“Hello…?”

“Is my Chris there?”

“What’s wrong?”

“IS CHRIS THERE? CAN YOU PLEASE PASS THE PHONE TO HER?”

With my soul half here and half in La-La Land, I have no idea who it was but I took the call..in a creaky voice.

“…Cheh…” she started to cry like nobody’s business.. that voice.. suddenly I felt my heart stopped pounding and my world stopped turning on its orbit.. total silence..

“WHAT’S WRONG? ARE YOU OKAY? WHAT HAPPENED?”

There were like, godzillions of BAD thoughts that came to mind… I was supposed to join the outing but something came up and I didn’t go back that weekend…


Finally, both calmed down and She related to me what just happened…

…the Girls-nite-out.. the Accident… the Wrecked-Car..

She was still in the state of shock. And her main concern of the aftermath irritated me the most - the damages to the Car!! I know it meant everything to HER... but hey, all I want to know right now is HOW ARE YOU? I was like asking her for a hundred times “ARE YOU OK?” and she was going on and on about the problematic wrecked metal!! sorry..

SHE was upset. Scared. Confused. Shocked. Hurt. TRAUMATISED. And I remember raising my voice to her, asking for a firm answer about Her well-being!! What a bitch , huh?

“I AM OK... .”

That’s all I care and that’s the ONLY feedback that I wanna hear from YOU…

I sensed the mixed up feelings in HER. How is SHE going to tell our parents all these? They are dead against the Clubbing idea since… the day we adapt this particular disturbing word in our lifestyle? Will the Insurance cover the cost of the damages? What if? What if? What ifs!!~

At that moment itself, I felt like catching the next available flight home and to give Her a BIG TEDDY HUG!!

*HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS*


Here I am, sound asleep in my cozy crib. And Mum was trying hard to ignore Dad’s magnificent orchestral snores. And the possibility of Her lying motionless on the tar that night was…. So close… so freaking close..

I almost lost Her.

I’M SORRY FOR BEING A BIATCH AT THAT PARTICULAR MOMENT and for NOT being there.. and I LOVE YOU VERY, VERY MUCH.

"..never look at what you've lost, always look at what you've got..."

..and I am glad to have you around this life, and hoped you'll be there too, in many more lifetime to come..

the missing link...

Could there be some fuzziness to my current life’s logic? It's fine to look at the bigger picture, but I may want to ask for help with the finer details..

GOD,WHERE ARE YOU?!?!

NO ANSWER.

Sometimes, life felt EMPTY. I just can’t find that missing piece to complete the jigsaw puzzle of my life. Maybe what I need is a lifestyle upgrade. Why insist on living in a certain LIFESTYLE when I can afford -- and deserve -- so much more? Maybe it’s really time to let go of the past… or present, for my case, and see just how good I can have it in the unknown future?

Well, it’s about time to really get the little ass up and do something about it rather than to ponder and wonder of the WHAT Ifs…


Ghost from the Past

Someone from my past has been on my mind lately…. The universe works in mysterious ways – just have to cross paths with them when I least expected it too.. It has been like ages now, since we had coffee and all.. Still looked and smell the same...

Hmmm… should I give destiny a nudge and send an email or call?

Nyah, maybe not.

Low life retards!!~

Some people just don’t know when to quit!! They just don't geddit!

These chunk of sadists come to you with the biggest messed up shit they can ever produce, begging for you to help them and when you finally help them clean it up, they got the cheek to just throw the whole truck of their dirty laundries on you!! Unethically piece of SH!T!!~

SPLATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT !!~

"Just because SOMEONE wants you take on more responsibility doesn't mean you have to say YES!" For sure, I can handle it so damn well, but that's not what matters... I would galdly do it, even if YOU get all the credits, medals and the trophies - because YOU know so well that I am so DARN good [otherwise you wouldn't have even bother to come to me in the first place, right?]..

But right now, it's all about keeping MY life in balance!! And if YOU think that your life is so miserable, shit and all, why not try solving it instead of complaining and shoving it to others? Better still, just hand in your Letter and there shall be eternal universal peace!!

To that particular person who doesn’t have a life, GET ONE FROM eBAY and stay miles away from mine!!

Screw-up Retards...

...let's cheers to that!!..

You Will Die at Age 64

You're pretty average when it comes to how you live... And how you'll die as well.

What Age Will You Die?

...need to party even HARDER now that my days are numbered...

...about mE...

Your Inner Child Is Sad

You're a very sensitive soul. You haven't grown that thick skin that most adults have. Easily hurt, you tend to retreat to your comfort zone. You don't let many people in - unless you've trusted them for a long time.

How Is Your Inner Child?

You Are 59% Vain

You're a little vain, but more than anything you have a healthy amount of confidence. Thinking the world of yourself is great. Just don't think less of those who aren't as pretty as you!

How Vain Are You?

You Are An Invisible Ex

You're so over your ex, you hardly even remember you have an ex You prefer leave all of the baggage behind you - far, far behind As they say, indifference is the opposite of love!

What Type of Ex Are You?

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it. That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power! The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism. You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world. Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in. You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you? You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways. Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you. As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

...the T A R O T card...

You Are The High Priestess

You represent mystery - secrets that are yet to be revealed.You find yourself sitting between two worlds: one dark, one light.You tend to hold these two worlds in balance, reconciling the two.Open and welcoming, you invite others to learn your secrets. Your fortune: Something hidden, or latent, in your life is about to come forward.You need to pay more attention to your dreams, thoughts, intuition, and imagination.And if that involves tapping into your dark side, it will all balance out in the end.You have a lot of potential dying to be unleashed, so let those gates open!