are we finally dRiFtiNG apart?

Why? YOU just had to comment on every single thing I do.. What I do..How I do it..When I do it? What's YOUR problem? I will wear what I feel like wearing and do my stuff the way I've been doing since the first time I start doing!! That's how I do my thingy, okay!!~ Well, I know I am NOT the ideal dream gal but all I ever asked for is YOU to quit smoking cuz I dowan to die young and I want you to be there till old age!! Is that too much to ask for?

Different people have different ways to unwind themselves.. I have NEVER interupted or INVADED your "My Time" moment so why do you have invade mine? I DON'T feel like playing car racing, adventourous or fishing games on your PS 2, okay?

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND STOP INVADING MY PRIVACY LAR!!

the NEW Job

the Newcomer Tour

I was early. My palm was sweaty and I was breathing heavily. G accompanied me into the office, he want to make sure I don't trip, faint or lost my way!! Haha!! He was just being supportive cuz he knows I was very, very nervous.

A lady with a warm smile greeted me. Karen, the HR Exec. And I was shown to my desk and bla bla bla about the organisation hierarchy , a tour in the Menara, handshaking sessions... My BOSS, a man who talks without commas and fullstops, is (thank God) a friendly person. The people were also helpful and warm. Everything is fine, but it's still to early to tell, though.. All I cared for at the moment is my paycheque!!~ Haha..so bad of me..


the CUBICLE

I have always have a thing for working within a cubicle workspace than an open area.. more privacy, it's as though it's screaming THIS IS MY TERRITORY so BUZZ OFF or something to nosy colleagues. Nice but it requires lots of touch ups and a SLIGHT rearrangement of its office equipment and stuff..


the People

Well, what can I say? All work place have the same kind of groups. The Friendly Ones. The Stuck-Up Ones. The I-Am-the-BOD. The I-Am-Egoist-Cuz-I-Appear-In-the-Company's-Year Book and the damn list goes on..


the Environment

In the past, I have to move my butt to make my own drinks and have a sip or two when no Eagles are flying above your head or risk of having it mentioned in your coming appraisal. Here, you have tea break at 3.30pm and you can get the tea lady (whom I prefer to refer her as Kak) to deliver it to your desk (better service than Starbucks and it's FREE!!)


the Work

Honestly, I don't have the slightest idea what I am doing!!~ BUMMER!!~

a NEW leaf

The decision to leave the comfort crib did not shock anyone. "A change of environment is the best for her" two wise men murmured.. she decided to go to great lengths to change the external circumstances of her miserable life. Drastic changes. That's what she needed. A change of job (not like she have a choice!!blah!!) environment, a city she live in for almost a third of her life (and even once thought she might also die in as well), friends and even the style and colour of her hair!! She hope that somehow, these external changes will result in a permanent change in her live.. But, will it?


Unpacking

Not much fuss cuz all stuff was neatly placed and carefully organised in those boxes, so it was quite easy to chuck them in the cupboard!!~ Tomorrow is the first day of my work..wish me luck!!~

tanties

Anger management is just another phrase for divas...and I am not, so the "Me first" bitching attitude has got to go~ I know I have had so many bad days due to my uncontrollable temper in the past - hurting the people around me and feel bad about it the whole day. . was it me or was it them? It can't be that all of them was wrong, wrong, wrong all the time and I was right the whole time? My sincerest appology to them.. Now, I'm trying to DISCIPLINE and PUNISH myself to not to always take things for granted..in other words, aim to change my life for the better...I have started to FORGIVE than get angry with those around me..

the SIGN

"I need imagination in order to continue breathing.." I just can't believe i told my sis KIDDO that..HaHa..she is my NEW best friend now...well, still under probationary period. Notice of termination : 2 weeks.. muahahahahaha~

My days are numbered.... Or so to say.. There's juz a few more days left before I flapped my wings and leave my comfortable crib~..I mean "nest"... one by one, lilttle birdies leave the nest and there she sat..all alone...* sigh * I'm starting to miss all that are here already..

What the......?

Should I really pack my stuff and JUST LEAVE or should I keep my options opened? When I frantically "prayed" for it and finally got my "prayers" answered, though not a very promising one, a call today made me wanna reconsider the decisions I've made weeks ago.. Was it a good one or a bad one? Did I really think real hard before I commit? Am I ready for all these? There were simply too many WHAT IF's at this moment.. I wanted to have something to look forward to each morning when I opened my eyes.. What I need to do and what need to done..

Or simply..that I don't even know what I want anymore in MY life?

A sense of belonging (which I doubt)

Well, not actually in my case.. cuz I am NOT occupying the room ALONE..so it's MORE like renting a "space"..I'm renting a "space" for me to chuck my stuff while I'm there..It's happening already..I mean, I'm still here..typing..but already I felt like drowning or somewhat suffocating already... *gAsP* *gaSp* *GaSp* HOW AM I GONNA GO THRU THIS PHASE?!?!?!

I CANNOT live in small "slow cooker" (it's damn hot like HELL there!!) And I just can't get used to the idea of people looking over MY shoulder, wondering what you're up to or checking to see what you're doing and stuff EVERY single seconds of it~ IT WILL JUST DRIVE ME UP THE WALL!!~ And eventually, I WILL snap.. And that would be an ugly sight *shrudder*

Can you imagine yourself, placed in a very very small room, occupying only one third of the availble space left with no "Space for My Stuff", let alone some quiet "Time for Myself".. Is there any survival kits available in 7-11 or self-helped books I can get from MPH??!?!?~ Am I being paranoid for nothing?

I need a SIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~

betray..betrayal...and betrayed..

Evil thoughts and wicked intentions have long embedded in her liltle twisted mind.. her black heart which has long stopped pumping solid red blood is now only full wil poisonous blood cells and veins...
How could you do this to me? WHY would she do it to me? i've always been there for you... with you..stand by you through the good times and bad..but why are you giving me all this shit in return?

WAS IT JEALOUSY?

Jealous that i HAVE a couple of genuine friends than your own pack of hypocrite backstabbing peers? Jealous that the Head FAVOURS me rather than herself? Jealous that i HAVE a loving and closely-knit, cool family than yours which couldn't spelled out into the word F.A.M.I.L.Y cause you are a child out of a wed-lock?

Well, maybe you should have asked your mama to keep her legs crossed and not ruining other people's family - no, wait...so that's where those cheap slut genes you inherited it from, i suppposed!! Like like mother like daughter!!~

Jealous that i'm GONNA be walking the aisle while you need to sneak around just to get a little glimpse of your 2 year plus kid having a greater life with your ex-hubby and his new squeeze after he caught you in a hotel with...what's-his-name-again dude?

How could you? Why did you? What fuck did I ever do to you to?

Well, now it's all PAST TENSE for you now..you WERE my THEN best friend.

Fuck you cause it's not my fault you have a miserable life, biatch!! And stay out of mine!!~